BOULDER, CO — With only a few weeks left in the college football regular season, students at the University of Colorado held a press conference at 4:20 local time today announcing their hopes that UC Athletic Director Rick George would accept an invitation to the Smokah Bowl on behalf of the football team.
Though not generally known as a high-stakes contest, the Smokah Bowl, sponsored by Taco Bell and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, has historically drawn high ratings despite airing at midnight on Adult Swim.
“With a 4-6 record and two tough games against USC and Utah, it’s highly unlikely the Buffs will tapped for any other bowls,” said student president Harrison Butler between mouthfuls of Funyuns. “Every season has its ups and downs, but we’ve had quite a few lows lately. Why not end the season on a high note?”
Several UC players expressed support for the Smokah Bowl opportunity, and hoped it would lead to more invites down the pipeline.
“The Smokah Bowl would really mellow all the harsh vibes from this season,” said wide receiver Paul Richardson. “We haven’t won a game on the road since September 1st — our away game performance has been one long bad trip.”
Richardson also said he was looking forward to his first game at William Nelson Memorial Stadium, known throughout the college football world for having the highest quality grass east of Boise.
Buffaloes coach Mike MacIntyre said he had already spent hours carefully dissecting footage of Colorado’s likely opponent, Bowling Green, and believed he had found some mind-blowing patterns in their playcalling.
“You’ve gotta check this out guys,” MacIntyre said, ushering reporters into a musty film room. “See, whenever [Bowling Green head coach Dave] Clawson scratches the left side of his nose, and [Bowling Green quarterback Matt] Johnson licks his right hand, the Falcons run a halfback sweep. Or maybe it’s a halfback counter. Wait… um…”
At press time, George was leaning towards declining the Smokah Bowl invitation because it conflicted with a team field trip to the Denver planetarium for a Pink Floyd laser show.