Tags archives: mma

Nation’s UFC fans land job at Hardee’s

THE UNITED STATES – After months of intermittently submitting job applications to appease their nagging stepmoms, the nation’s UFC fans announced Thursday that they had been hired to work the morning shift at Hardee’s restaurants around the country. For the next four days, the UFC fans will learn how to operate the cash register under the supervision of a 43-year-old assistant manager named Rodney, who used to get into UFC and all that but now mostly just sticks to dragsters and NASCAR. “But I’ll definitely still watch it if they got it on at B Dubs,” Rodney clarified. The nation’s UFC fans were dismayed to learn that on the job they will not be permitted to wear their black graphic tees patterned with ridiculous violent imagery such as angels made of fire and skulls with bullets for teeth, but instead will have to don the company-issued red polo shirt. “Fine, but I’m not gonna tuck it in,” muttered the UFC fans, who feel the constant need to act like hard-asses [...]