Tags archives: golf

Whoops: Watch a golf legend's trick shot ricochet into his own groin

Chi-Chi Rodriguez has been smacking balls off of tees for over 70 years. But if this trick shot gone wrong is any indication, he may want to hang up the spikes for good if he values the health of his testes. The nut-crunching shot occurred during filming of the Golf Channel reality show The Big Break, in which Rodriguez attempted to break a pane of glass with his swing. Unfortunately, the glass fought back, and Rodriguez probably had to hit the clubhouse early for a bag of ice. Full video of the incident can be seen here. Or, if you prefer, you can watch Hans Moleman’s magnum opus, Man Getting Hit by Football.  

PGA gives Sergio Garcia $50,000 bonus for racist remark

The Professional Golfer’s Association of America awarded Sergio Garcia a $50,000 bonus Wednesday morning in recognition of a racist remark he made towards world No. 1 Tiger Woods. Garcia made the remark Tuesday night at the European Tour awards dinner, joking that he would give Woods fried chicken at next month’s U.S. Open. While the comment undeniably played off an offensive African-American stereotype, PGA officials insist that it honored the rich traditions of professional golf in the United States. “We commend Garcia for contributing to the proud history of Caucasian superiority on which professional golf has grown and flourished,” the PGA stated in a press release. “Golf has always been about privileged white people participating in mildly rigorous competition in front of crowds of other privileged white people. We applaud Garcia for being a champion of these ideals.” This marks the second occasion this year in which Woods has been disparaged for his skin color. The first occurred during The Masters, when Augusta National forced him to use a separate [...]

Augusta National honors Tiger Woods with separate bathroom, water fountain

AUGUSTA, GA – Arriving at Augusta National Golf Club Thursday morning, Tiger Woods’ Masters weekend got off to a pleasant start when staff informed him that he’d be given his own separate bathroom and water fountain for the duration of the tournament. A manager at the notoriously exclusive club explained to him that while all the other golfers would be permitted to use the lavish facilities in the clubhouse, Woods would only have access to an unlit outhouse behind the main building. “Wow, I can’t believe how nice they’re treating me!” Woods exclaimed. “They respect me so much that they’re segregating me into my own special building. Granted, the toilet’s just a hole in the ground and there’s not any running water, but still!” To Woods’ delight, the VIP treatment didn’t end there. Shortly before the start of the tournament, he was escorted by security into a small isolated room, where he was ordered to take a literacy test before he could compete. “I was a little confused at first [...]

Lone, feeble nation nearly triumphs over European empire at Ryder Cup

MEDINAH, IL – Facing almost insurmountable odds, the United States came breathtakingly close to completing a historic upset over the powerful European empire at the Ryder Cup on Sunday. The fledgling American nation, battling thousands of years of global supremacy with only a few brief centuries as a pawn-like international presence, lost by just a single point, 14 ½-13 ½, falling just an inch short of cementing the greatest underdog performance in the history of competitive sports. “We’re so proud of what we did out there, but it’s just heartbreaking to walk away without the trophy in our hands,” said U.S. team captain Davis Love III, an unassuming good ol’ boy from rural North Carolina. “We were just a ragtag bunch of nobody golfers, hoping to avoid embarrassing our country while having a little bit of fun. Who could’ve guessed we’d come so close to doing something so impossible?” The European team, fortified by a continent-spanning roster of golfers from eight different nations, played with the kind of dismissive arrogance [...]