Tags archives: canada

NFL lobbies for redrawing of the US-Canada border to force Buffalo Bills to join the CFL

The NFL admitted today it has been secretly meeting with US and Canadian officials in an effort to redraw the two nation’s borders, annexing the city of Buffalo, New York, and forcing the Buffalo Bills to join the CFL. According to confidential meeting notes obtained by the New York Times, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, President Barack Obama, and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper held several clandestine meetings at a Tim Horton’s near the border to discuss the matter, with all three parties optimistic a deal could be completed. “The NFL is very happy with the existing conference and divisional structures, and is committed to keeping the league at 32 teams for the foreseeable future,” Goodell said. “However, we really want to put a team in Los Angeles, and offering the great city of Buffalo to our neighbors to the north seems to be a solution that benefits everyone involved.” “Except for the people of Buffalo, of course. But who cares about them?” Goodell added, drawing uproarious laughter from the assembled [...]

Mexican Hockey League lockout enters 213th year

MEXICO CITY – Mexican Hockey League (MHL) owners and players resumed talks today in hopes of ending their ongoing lockout and preventing the cancellation of the Mexican hockey season for the 213th straight year. With the American-Canadian NHL ending its lockout and beginning a 48-game season on Saturday, MHL Commissioner Rogelio Díaz says both sides are feeling added pressure to get things sorted out. “If we can reach a compromise by next week, we’ll still be able to get in a partial hockey season,” said Díaz. “Then all we’ll need are stadiums, uniforms, and a radio and television broadcasting deal.” The MHL was founded in the year 1810, shortly after Mexican freedom fighters first declared the country independent from Spain. Owners and players quickly organized themselves into teams representing every major Mexican city, determined a set of league rules and business arrangements, and then began a lockout that continues to this day. “We have to have a larger share of league revenues than we’re getting in the current CBA, a [...]