Saints break Guinness crowd noise record vs. Panthers when female streaker runs on field

For the fourth time this season, there is a new crowd noise record. But this time, it wasn’t a PA announcer or Guinness employee who helped New Orleans Saints fans reach the mark — it was a naked female.

After a Guinness-led attempt during the third quarter failed to break the previous noise record of 137.6 decibels set last week by Seattle Seahawks fans at CenturyLink Field, fans at the Superdome suddenly roared back to life when an unidentified female streaker hopped a guardrail near the South end zone and ran to midfield, where she was apprehended by security.

Although Guinness said they would need to run some independent tests to confirm the record, the Superdome applause-o-meter measured the crowd noise at 138.2 decibels, a level which can instantly cause permanent hearing loss, and is comparable to live artillery fire, according to audiologist Jeffrey Lyons.

“Studies have traditionally shown that increases in crowd noise are most readily caused by stadium-controlled factors, such as showing the words “NOISE” or “LOUDER” on the Jumbotron,” Lyons said, adding that playing the bells sequence from AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells or Metallica’s For Whom the Bell Tolls also typically inspire the desired Pavlovian response. “The fact that the naked female form appears to maximize audience reaction may have a profound effect on how scoreboard operators approach their job. It’s a game-changer.”

Lyons added that rigorous and repeated review of the streaker footage would be needed before any definitive conclusions could be reached, and that a scientific consensus might not be possible unless all instances of female streakers at sporting events were catalogued and studied.

When asked for comment, Saints quarterback Drew Brees said he and his teammates appreciated the support, regardless of whether it was for a naked lady or the players themselves.

“Saints fans proved once again last night they’re the best in the world,” Brees said. “That noise was unlike anything I’ve ever heard in my years playing here. In fact, if one of you reporter guys could email me a high-quality video of that chick — um, the crowd, I mean — I really want to use it as mastur– motivation for next week’s game.”

“Just don’t send it to drewbress@saints.com, send it to datsexxyQB5@hotmail.com,” Brees added, noting his wife has been known to accidentally delete emails to his team address.

 

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