Report: At least one of the seven layers in weird friend’s Super Bowl party dip probably semen

Partygoers suspect local weird Todd Blackridge’s seven-layer dip, which Blackridge claims is an old family recipe, may contain traces of semen.

“Todd’s a weird dude, and there’s something really weird about the flavor of that light layer,” said party host Nathan Johnson. “I should have stopped inviting him to these parties years ago, but his cubicle is right next to mine, so there’s really no way out of it.”

“Maybe it’s just sour cream,” Johnson added. “But if it is, it’s gone really bad, and has a weird asparagus taste to it.”

At press time, the party’s guests were trying their hardest to avoid tasting Blackridge’s homebrewed beer.

Add your own juke or spin

Have something to say?

Latest jobs report shows 2,500 new chimpanzee jobs created through Super Bowl commercials

On the heels of another positive jobs report, the White House announced today that 2,500 new jobs were created for chimpanzees in this year’s Super Bowl commercials, a 10 percent increase from the previous year. “The surge in chimp employment numbers is a sure sign that our economy is finally turning around,” said Vice President Joe Biden. “Along with the uptick in positions for talking dogs, sassy kittens and the traditional seasonal employment for clydesdale horses and p[...] continue reading ›