Red Sox World Series win ends lifetime of sports failures for Boston sports fan, age 2

Thousands of Red Sox fans took to the streets last night to celebrate their third World Series win in nine years, and first win at home in nearly a century. But for South Boston resident Brendan McLaughlin, the Sox finally winning it all was the experience of a lifetime.

After what felt like a million years because his undeveloped brain cannot yet conceive of time, McLaughlin, who is almost two and a half, finally witnessed what his parents have told him is his favorite team reach the pinnacle of professional baseball.

“I’m so happy Brendan finally got to see a Boston sports win,” said Brendan’s father Joe. “He was fast asleep during the first nine innings, but like magic, he woke up after I tapped his head a dozen or so times to see Koji close it out. Bless his little heart.”

According to the McLaughlins, Brendan’s favorite player is David Ortiz, a conclusion they reached after swearing he smiled at the television once when Ortiz was up to bat.

“He just loves his Red Sox hat, doesn’t he?” said Brendan’s mother Erin, presumably referring to the hat Brendan was in the middle of chewing on. “Brendan says his Pedroia jersey is his favorite, doesn’t he? Doesn’t he?”

When asked for clarification, Brendan would not confirm that he loved his Pedroia uniform, instead choosing to make truck noises.

“This win was for the whole city of Boston,” said Red Sox manager John Farrell. “But most of all, it was for fans like Brendan McLaughlin, who have waited a whole lifetime for us to reverse the curse, to cowboy up, and to show what it means to be Boston Strong. Brendan, your nightmare is over.”

When asked how it felt to have the weight of a lifetime of sports failures finally lift off his shoulders, Brendan said “Da!” and walked away, presumably to celebrate the Red Sox victory on his own or possibly watch SpongeBob SquarePants in his room.

 

 

 

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