SportsCenter to show hockey highlights as soon as this bowling coverage is done

Following a thrilling, triple-overtime win by the Chicago Blackhawks over the Boston Bruins in game one of the Stanley Cup Finals, SportsCenter anchor John Anderson promised viewers they would see highlights of all the amazing action as soon as ESPN concluded its bowling coverage. "I know a lot of viewers out there are tuning in after that epic, five-hour game in Chicago, and we will bring you highlights from that game VERY soon," Anderson said, as SportsCenter wrapped up [...] continue reading ›

Patrick Kane taking body shot off your sister at this very moment

CHICAGO – According to numerous sources, Blackhawks winger Patrick Kane is currently, at this very moment, taking a sultry body shot off your sister, whom you are very loving and protective toward. Witnesses say that the Conn Smythe winner, still riding the adrenaline from his team’s Stanley Cup victory, is celebrating at an upscale Chicago sports bar, and lying on top of his table is your sister, with her shirt pulled down so as to maximize the appearance of her cleavage.[...] continue reading ›