New memoir reveals Dwight Howard has slept with over 20,000 honey buns

According to an upcoming biography, Houston Rockets center Dwight Howard estimates he has slept with over 20,000 honey buns in his life, a shocking revelation that already has critics sounding off.

Only a week after reports surfaced that Howard was ingesting the equivalent of 24 Hershey bars a day in candy and soda while playing for the Los Angeles Lakers, an excerpt from Bill Plaschke’s biography Saving Superman features this telling excerpt:

Howard was unabashed about his love for sugary treats, claiming he had slept with over 20,000 honey buns, mostly from snack cake manufacturer Little Debbie. When I challenged that number, he laid out the math behind it. “I’ve been taking a snack to bed with me every day since I was 15 years old. Sometimes I kept it to one honey bun, but sometimes I got a little crazy. Two, three — the more the merrier. Add it all up and you’re looking at 20,000, easy.”

Former Lakers great Magic Johnson criticized Howard’s revelation, saying his lustful habits sent a terrible message to kids.

“I honestly feel more pity than anger for Wilt, as his macho accounting will undoubtedly backfire on him in the form of a wave of public criticism,” Johnson said. “African Americans have spent decades denying that they have unhealthy and uncontrollable appetites by nature, as racists have argued since the latest type two diabetes figures came out.

“A black man of international fame and immense personal wealth should do his best with the gifts God has given him, rather than attempting to commit Snickers-based suicide.”

At press time, the Los Angeles Times reported that another section of Saving Superman reveals that Howard’s eight illegitimate children may be partly due to his habit of using empty Skittles bags as condoms.

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