Yankees designate A-Rod for rehab assignment in active volcano

NEW YORK – Following news that he’d been green-lit by team doctors to participate in rehab games, on Wednesday the Yankees designated third baseman Alex Rodriguez for assignment in an active volcano. Starting immediately, Rodriguez will have full clearance to play unrestricted innings of baseball for the first time since being sidelined by a hip injury. He’ll work to get back into playing shape from the inside of Popocatepetl, a massive active volcano 30 miles outside of M[...] continue reading ›

Merciful Rockies grounds crew replaces warning track with quicksand

DENVER - Twenty-nine games out of first place in the NL West, the Colorado Rockies have once again disappointed their fan base with a dismal season of baseball. And with horrible pitching, horrible defense, and horrible power hitting, there’s not much hope for the team to significantly improve anytime in the foreseeable future. Mercifully, understanding the need for a roster overhaul, the Rockies grounds crew has taken proactive steps towards rejuvenating the franchise by [...] continue reading ›