After politely smiling the first few times Enter Sandman blasted through the speakers of American Threads Dry Cleaners to mark his arrival, former New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera today asked American Threads clerk Randall Podolski to stop playing the Metallica hit song every time he came to pick up his suits and sport coats.
“I know he means well, but honestly, it’s a little disrespectful,” Rivera said. “I used that song to pump me up for the biggest moments of my life. It got me through 19 seasons, five World Series wins, and 652 saves. To hear that thundering guitar riff when I’m picking up my wife’s cocktail dress really cheapens it.”
“Just play some Steely Dan or something,” Rivera added. “Or some Michael McDonald-era Doobie Brothers. You know… dry cleaner music.”
While Podolski quickly agreed to drop the Enter Sandman routine, he insisted the song was intended as a sign of respect for Rivera’s craft and years of consistency.
“Mariano, he’s been coming in here for 19 years, and hasn’t forgotten his dry cleaning ticket once,” Podolski said, pointing to a wall where he had taped Rivera’s receipts. “He always has his credit card ready, tips really well, and at the end of the month, gives me a little extra in cash.
“When you hear those first few notes, you know that the best customer in the history of this dry cleaner is walking through the door.”
Though Rivera admitted he found the song choice annoying, he said switching dry cleaners never crossed his mind due to Podolski’s low prices, friendly demeanor and incredible steam-cleaning technique.
At press time, negotiations between Rivera and Podolski over new entrance music had reached an impasse after Podolski suggested Thin Lizzy’s The Boys are Back in Town, prompting Rivera to walk out of the store in disgust.