Gloria James: “LeBron is better than MJ but worse than Delonte West”

MIAMI – With LeBron James scoring at least 30 points and shooting above 60 percent from the field in his last six games, and with Michael Jordan turning 50 this week, the inevitable question has risen among sports fans as to which player is the greatest of all time.

But for James’ mother, Gloria, the answer is neither.

“I believe that my son is incredible, better than Jordan, but he ain’t got nothin’ on Delonte West,” Gloria told reporters Wednesday. “Mmmm mmm, nothing excites me like watching that boy play.”

Gloria explained that she believed her son edged out His Airness on account of his singular physical gifts and the astonishing fact that he hasn’t come close to reaching his peak. But she argued that West, now a guard in the D-League, embodies a certain mystique and attitude that transcends talent and statistics, making him the greatest player in NBA history.

“Listen, I know that unless you triple cover LeBron he’s pretty much unstoppable, but Delonte’s so hot out on the court that the temperature rises in the stadium,” she noted, licking her lips and fanning herself with her hand. “And, I mean, you look into Delonte’s eyes and it’s like they’re saying, ‘Baby, I got this, you just sit back and let daddy take care of business.’”

While James has yet to comment on his mother’s unusual stance, sources close to the superstar report that he is attempting to win her favor by making her a macaroni portrait of him slam-dunking a basketball.

James will be unable to present it to her any time soon, though, as Gloria reportedly left for an extended trip to Cabo Wednesday afternoon with an unidentified male companion she referred to simply as “D.”

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